The Future

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where my creative energy is going.

For the last few years, music has been a big part of my identity. It’s been a coping mechanism, a passion, and honestly a way of trying to turn pain into something beautiful. And I still love music. That hasn’t disappeared.

But something has been changing.

Music is starting to feel… heavier.

Not because it’s hard technically. I can learn more theory, improve my production, practice songwriting, all that. That part is fine.

The problem is: music asks something deeper from me.

Music asks me to feel a certain way.

It asks me to feel cool.
It asks me to feel confident.
It asks me to feel emotionally “right” enough to perform a persona convincingly.
It asks me to believe in what I’m saying.

And the truth is, I can’t always promise that.

I can’t guarantee I’ll wake up feeling like a pop star, or a rapper, or a charismatic frontman. Some days I’m just… not in that headspace. Some days I’m flat, or foggy, or just trying to get through the day.

Music is powerful, but it’s also personal. And when it’s personal, it can turn into pressure.

Game design feels different

Game design is starting to pull me in more and more, and I think I understand why.

Game design doesn’t ask me to be cool.

It doesn’t ask me to be emotionally switched on.

It asks for presence of mind.

It asks me to think clearly.
To solve problems.
To build systems.
To design worlds.
To create rules that feel satisfying.
To create something that someone can step into and explore.

In a weird way, game design asks more of me — it’s complicated, and it takes time, and it’s not easy.

But it feels more aligned with who I actually am.

Because even when I don’t feel like “performing”, I can still design.

Even when I’m not feeling confident, I can still build something logical.

Even when my emotions are messy, I can still create structure.

And honestly… structure is something I need.

Maybe this is me growing up creatively

I don’t think this means music is dead to me.

But I do think music might be shifting into a different role.

Instead of being my main identity, maybe music becomes something I do on the side. Something I enjoy without forcing it to carry the weight of my whole future.

Game design feels like a longer road, but also a more stable one.

And the more I think about it, the more I realise:

Music demands a version of me I can’t always summon.
Game design accepts the version of me that already exists.

That’s a big deal.

So yeah — lately I’ve been thinking more about game design than music.

And for the first time in a long time, that doesn’t feel like failure.

It feels like clarity.